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really old

Friday:

Last night I went out to our usual Monday night hangout with some of the usual Monday night crew. I ended up staying up too late working on music as a result. I have been getting up pretty late this week. I’m not sure why that is. It might just be the holiday slowdown coming on. That’s somewhat acceptable.

I need to finish this track I have going on. I think people might like to hear it. I think I might like to hear it, too. All in one. Hearing bits of it over and over is nice and all, but I could have more fun for sure. The problem is that I’m never super duper happy with the finished tracks… I always see what it could have been rather than what it is. The difference between those two things is shrinking, though. That’s nice.

I’m somewhat hopeful lately.
Haha. optimism.

Thursday:

I dreamed of a girl I used to know the other night. We were friends, but not that close. In the dream, we were suddenly close. We were walking around arm in arm and being cozy. I woke up in a good mood as a result. I’m not sure why that particular girl ended up as the main character. She had been in one dream before too, I believe. Strange.

For some reason, I’m not sure she is really representing herself in the dreams. If she is, then I probably should have spent more time trying to get to know her when I saw her on a regular basis. I guess that teaches me a bit of a lesson.

Categories
really old

Thursday:

No matter who wins this election, nobody’s going to be able to take the results seriously. The fact that this whole thing has been dragged out to such a degree is an indication of how whiny Americans really can be. Whatever, though. That’s a perogative you have in a free country like ours. Ahaha.

Saturday:

cascading droplets, bloop bloop
floating along on semi-conscious aromas.
sensing everything around turning sour,
and battling it with an outpouring of sweet.

A spectacle of angry beauty,
spitting fire and molten desire,
descends from the heavens,
and asks us to change.

HAHA! We say.
Who are you to ask such a thing?
A witch from the sky would probably like us to die!

NONO! She says.
I am memory and love and drive all rolled into one!
I am more than a mere realization of your insanity.
I am tempting and touting and pretending and now!
I am here with you, let’s have some fun!

Categories
really old

Saturday:

Sometimes, it seems like things really never do go the way I expect. I guess probably I am unable to predict the future. Sometimes, though, it seems like even more than that. It almost seems like things actually turn out different than I expect all the time. It’s almost like I am an anti-psychic.

I suppose, though, that by ‘things’, I really do mean only the things I really want to turn out a certain way. I guess maybe I need to try harder to make those things turn out that way, though. Maybe I just spend too much time just expecting my luck to help me out.

Or maybe my luck really is helping me out in ways I may even realize.

Today is turning into tonight, and the evening’s plans have not yet started. Hmm hmm.

Wednesday:

Since I cried out a bit the other day, I have been finding minor showers of love raining down on me from unexpected directions.

That has a way of continuing to happen. I just reach out, and somebody notices and reaches back. When I feel a little lost, a light appears. A light is a simple thing, but it is the only thing separating us from darkness.

Maybe if we can work together to aim our individual lights together at the same thing, we might be able to illuminate something of real interest.

Categories
really old

Wednesday:

the end of the world has started.
I guess. That’s the general feeling I’ve been getting from people anyhow. George W. Bush as president is going to send our country spiraling onto some sort of chaotic path to hell or something. That sounds like it might be fun.

We need something to shake us all up a little bit. I mean, seriously… only half of the eligible voters in this country vote. Half. That’s like none almost. George W. Bush really only got like 1/4 of the people in the country to vote for him. And now he’s president!

Well, whatever. Politics. Boring.

Sunday:

I’m thinking of small things.
Lots of small things, circling about looking for one another.
If they do happen to find each other, they don’t know what to do. They just bump into each other and stop for a moment, puzzled, and then continue on. Maybe they don’t even actually realize they are looking for each other. And then maybe they really aren’t even looking for each other at all. Maybe they really are just flying around with no purpose at all.

Categories
really old

Sunday:

There’s a string of hope, trailing from the top of the highest peak to the top of the highest man-made monument. It connects the almighty power of creation with the almighty everythingness of human invention.

Friday:

Lately, I’ve been starting to not really even want to check my email. I know, GASP, and all that. It just seems like less and less of my email is actually friendly. Most of it is telling me about some new problem or asking me about some new this or that. And some of it is heated discussions I don’t care very much about or blah blah blahing I could do without.

I don’t have much energy to do much about this, either. It seems like it might be a sign of some sort. I would like it to be a sign of a dramatic change in my life. I feel like I’ve said that before, too. Things have been changing, but I feel like I want something in particular to change. I feel like I want something to enter my life that really just takes a seat squarely between me and everything else I care about. I want to fall in love.