iDallas!
I’ve been out for a little while.
Time to check in.
I went to San Diego last night to a club. Jorge was playing. It was a meat market. San Diego is like a farm for beautiful people. It’s the major export.
I met an interesting woman. She came up and starting talking to me. She was a little drunk, but not too bad. She’s into drum n bass and ambient music. Seems like my kinda girl.
I got her number. It wasn’t a big deal.
I am lonely.
I fear I will be lonely forever.
I am not lonely because I don’t have people
around me. I am lonely because I know I am not like most people I see.
I don’t understand why people do what they do. I don’t understand why they don’t care the way I do.
And even more, I feel that I may be wrong.
The world is full of unsavory places. And the only people who go to unsavory places are either unsavory themselves or incapable of going elsewhere. And that fact makes those places all the more unpleasant.
And the cycle continues. And we continue to destroy each other systematically and quite perfectly. No one understands what must be done enough to ever really do a whole lot.
We are in an endless cycle of forces tugging this way and that, gradually tearing our reality apart.
I wrote a new Special Sauce.
I looked at an industrial spot today. It’s 14,000 sq ft! That’s huge.
And it’s pretty cheap. Expensive for some place to live, but it’s so big. You could do so much with that sort of space. You could easilly run several businesses from it. And that’s just what I’d like to do.
I’m a man of opportunity. I know my game. I know my opponent.
And I know what I must do next.
Fun party.
Small, lots of new people. I kept myself, but a couple of cuties paid me some dues and gave me some attention. Life is ok.
It’s getting better overall, I’d say.
Lemme see. some words of wisdom…
If you can forget that you’re falling down a long hole that will almost certainly end in your end, you might be able to take some time to watch the scene that’s passing you by.
Heroin and crack.
Nicotine and Jack.
Don’t put your finger up my butt.
Unless I’m in a major rut.
And even then, be gentle.
So, if you forget about the problems with money, you can start to think about all the things you can do with it.
You can buy a whole studio full of the coolest music equipment and you can spend your whole life sucking nitrous balloons and jacking your veins full of heroin and playing with your toys.
If you’re lucky or inspired or something else you might even manage to make someone else a little happy, too.
And you will be a winner.
And we will love you for it.
Everything in America is about money.
No matter how you cut it or how much you try to forget it.
You can suck nitrous balloons all your life or fill your veins full of heroin or peanut butter or whatever, and nothing is going to change.
It’s all about dollars, cash, money.
Money is all most people think about. They worry about paying for this or that. They want to make their millions so they can drive their fancy cars and fuck their fancy women. They want to wear the nicest clothes and be seen in the ritziest places and they’ll do just about anything they can to make that happen.
It’s more addictive than any other thing on our planet. Once you have a little more than a little, you will always want more.
And more.
And it goes on. And there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about it.
I’ve started noticing that my extremities are numb most of the time… I think maybe I really do spend a bit too much time sitting in front of my computer. I need to get out more and move the rest of my body.
Wish me luck… I hope I don’t shrivel up and die!
I have been struggling to get these frickin frontpage extensions working with the dreamhost system for so long, and I am almost there! I’ve almost got it! I just need to try a couple more things and I’ll have it!
Glory day.
And many of you have returned my survey already! Thanks for not just tossing it away.