Author: admin

A blessing in disguise. That’s what I need. Maybe that’s why I’m going to have another masquerade ball. I need to get rolling on that.

There’s a pain in my head. It’s not really a physical pain, but just some sort of feeling I can quite feel. It’s keeping me from doing the things I feel I need to do, and that’s just adding to the so-called pain. I can’t sleep because I slept 12 hours last night, but I am too tired to do anything else, really. I have been dreaming about girls lately. Different girls. Girls I used to knew. Girls I would like to know. Girls I have never known and will never know. It all comes back to the same thing, I suppose.

And it’s all about a touch or a kiss. Something that seems so simple when you do it, but that somehow manages to stay with you forever. It’s too bad I can’t appreciate it for how special it is when it’s happening, you know?

Perfect. Nothing is.
Nothing will be. Nothing should be.
Trust, faith, whining memories. Draperies hiding the truth. Sadness welling up in my eyes. Crayons drawing nothing on butcher paper. Chopped up animals hanging on hooks and I can’t care.
Dying willows and barking dogs with nothing to eat.
There is more to this than that. There is more. There must be. I have a feeling about something absurd. Why do my feelings come out so erratically?

I would like to cry right now. It seems that might help. I will not feel this way in the morning. I cannot allow myself to sleep for so long tonight. I won’t. I need to be excited again. It happens, sometimes.

Drain. Drudge. Heavy.
Axe handle.
hear the hum.
Tropical is next weekend. We met people at the last Tropical.
It’s all about the house music vibes. Feel the vibe. Ahahaa…

more words.
more
more.
I have more.

pummel me with your favorites.

I saw the newly re-released The Exorcist last night at the Mann’s Chinese Theater. That’s one seriously intense movie. I had never seen it before. If you haven’t seen it before, you should go. Don’t go by yourself, though.

Sitting and singing softly to myself.
A small, but noisy bird makes it way onto my plate.
BIRD!

Some things are just unforgiveable.
Fortunately, this is not one of those things.
I smack the bird away with my hand, and continue singing.
My plate is still empty, however.

“I was born a little too late to see the dream that they called America.”

Fifteen.

That line put so many thoughts into my head. It’s from the album called “Choice of a New Generation”. Funny. I just rediscovered it after a couple of years of not listening to it, and I am realizing that I really missed it.

I’ve been listening to a lot of pop punk lately, actually. It keeps me energized.

One summer several years ago, I didn’t sleep very much, and I’m not even sure I ate that much, and somehow I managed to totally change my life, with the help of some friends.

I still wear the Fifteen shirt I have. It has paint on it from that summer when we were painting the walls of a place we had called the Minot Collective Cultural Center.

If it wasn’t for that place and those people, I think my life would be entirely different now. They showed me that I could do whatever I wanted however I wanted and I didn’t have to listen to anybody if I didn’t want to.

Of course, it’s still always a good idea to listen to people with good ideas. It really is pretty hard to figure out exactly who those people are, though.

Shifty shy and the shiney sonuvaguns started watching the sunset every evening one day, and they just never went back.