iDallas!

This is a thought that has struck me in my personal life several times, but it has been of more importance recently and has been coming up in casual conversations with other people.

It seems as if I have to feel like I am accomplishing something meaningful or I start to get very antsy and have trouble being content doing what I’m doing. I have this hunger for accomplishment. And it’s not just me…

I’ve heard other people talk about how happy they are be in school, or to even just know that they are going to school. If they see the ‘light’ of school (in this case) at the end of the tunnel, they are more ok with following their path through the tunnel and being generally happy with it. I’m hearing comments like, “This isn’t exactly what I want to be doing, but as long as I know it’s on the right path, it makes me so happy.”

That happy place can be many things for many people, of course. Some people like being in school and soaking up the knowledge and energy around them. Some people like traveling or experiencing new and wondrous things. Some people just like meeting new people they can relate to.

I don’t know why it is that so many Americans seem to have trouble making their own personal happiness a priority. I have enough trouble managing this myself so I won’t be doing anything to help the world here. You’re on your own.

This year was my second year at burning man, and I had more time this year to reflect on the social and cultural ramifications of the event in between the shots of tequila and solar tiki drinks.

I was envisioning a not-so-distant future where the ‘burning man movement’ has continued to pick up steam and has grown in numbers. In this future, the event itself has become more of a yearly holiday for the countless members of the global community. In many ways, it already is a holiday. Eagle referred to it as ‘like Christmas’ at one point. Interesting observation.

The man itself can represent anything at all. It occurred to me that it could represent the establishment as in ‘down with the man’, or even society itself as part of the notion that you have to destroy society itself to really understand what it’s like to be human (or even animal). In the beginning the man just represented one man, ironically or not.

It’s not really so important to describe or discuss exactly what happens at Burning Man. It is interesting to see a bunch of people in a situation where they are mostly free to do what they want how they want for a week or so. There is of course still societal pressure, but it’s from the Burning Man society itself so it’s a little biased.

Once you’ve been once, it’s hard to imagine a world without it.

I’ve been thinking more and more about going back to school lately. In some ways I’m just getting tired of the day in-day out working life, but I’m also starting to feel like I need to be in a more academic environment again. I feel like I’m stagnating and not having a chance to breathe deeply.

So far the hard part has been trying to decide what to study. I don’t think I really want to study any more computer science, though I could probably manage it ok. I’m leaning towards and electronic music program now. I think that might be just the sort of thing to get my juices going again.