iDallas!
I’ve been dreaming.
Have I been dreaming about you?
I’ve been thinking.
Have I been thinking about the world around me, or perhaps the world outside?
I’ve been swimming,
Swimming through a sea of incompatible impossibilities, or so I might like to think.
The world is not as broken as I used to believe, but I don’t know if I am strong enough to deal with the alternative.
I have a burn mark on my heart left there by you.
And you might not even know who you are…
But I don’t know.
I believe I have left a mark of some sort on you as well. And it’s weird because I am proud of the marks I have and I am proud of the marks I have left.
The marks remind us that we are not supposed to be seamless, shining representations of a world that can never exist. We are here and the world is here with us. Or something. There is no separator there.
And those marks remind us of things that we might not want to forget… but then sometimes I feel like it would just be easy to keep my eyes focused forward and just keep my feet trailing one by one through the shifty sand below. All systems go, all paths lead to somewhere. They must. It’s one of those things that we rely on.
Otherwise, we will go crazy.
But, I believe I might go crazy, anyway.
Sometimes, I feel like I should just go crazy now. Sometimes, I feel like that might really be the goal. The goal. The goal.
Alive.
A lie.
Laser tag my butt today,
loser dork-head poop.
Just see how much it hurts.
And we’ll both remember anyway,
probably longer than our first kiss.
But maybe not.
punchy
aha. You laugh.
pine needles covering the dead, cold ground,
in winter.
lay down and look up at the sky,
and watch the leaves curl up and die,
and hear the birds fall silent,
and.
sleep.
sleep three thousand whiles…
remember the children,
playing and screaming screams of nothing,
fearless.
remember the water,
waves rushing up to your fish-white feet,
coiling around your small-time toes.
Walking in front of 300 years of steps in the sand.
We are all children of the sun, and we must acknowledge that by looking up into it at least once a day. The sun knows when you are looking, and the appreciation will be felt.
In addition, we must come together to rejoice for at least a few days a year and hopefully a full week or more if possible. Multiple times a year is also encouraged.
When I hear about deep life sorts of things, it makes me feel a little selfish and small-minded. I spend so much of my time worrying about stupid little things that keep the world from being perfect, and I forget to notice how wonderful it is.
Us stupid spoiled Americans and our whiny-ass ways.
All might be lost.
And if that’s the case, there’s nothing more to lose!
We might as well be happy and free like birds.
Except birds are mostly sort of dumb, it seems.
Ok, well not birds, then. Fish! Fish are nice.
We’ll be happy and free like fish.
Except fish are stuck under the water. That’d be cool for awhile (anybody ever watch that cartoon, “The Snorks”?), but I’d want to see my mom eventually, I bet. Ok, no fish, either then.
Well, let’s just be happy and free like naked humans with nothing to do! Like all the other animals!
Is the Internet a collection of the most depressed people around? I think it might be.
But there’s multiple ways to interpret that. Is the Internet making people depressed? Or is it serving as a safe haven of sorts to people who are already depressed? Or both, perhaps? Or am I maybe just coming into contact with the parts of the Internet that are depressed? Or am I maybe just depressed and projecting that onto other people I encounter?
I think there are a lot of depressed people in the world. I don’t think I am one of them. I think sometimes maybe I should be and I am repressing it.
Either way. Communication does not lead to happiness anymore than money does.
The last night of weekly science ever.
Well, for now, anyway.
There were quite a lot of cuties. I didn’t talk to any of them. I did a fair bit of looking, though.
I do a whole lot of looking it seems.
jump on my jive, again
jig up my juice mind, too.
jew in my cradle, looking up at me.
He doesn’t know what I’m thinking…
but he knows how I feel.
He cries for me.
And the world laughs at him for it.
I cry for you…