iDallas!I still feel that lonely sort of feeling sometimes, but I think it’s starting to be more a result of how thinly I spread myself out… I want to maintain a steady connection with so many people and do so many things all at once, and it just wears me out… and I think I am missing out on some really important connections still…
Life is hectic.
Writing is sparse.
I made a new banner ad…
a collection of conflicts bound by a deeper desire.
cascading moon beams, bouncing from the surface of a greater solution.
terrified trembling and pouring down rain, I swallow my memories and walk into the night, alone.
I’ll write when I get where I’m going.
listen to the raindrops fall and strike the roof and carry a sound through the walls and down to the ground…
and then hear your r’s and your p’s roll off of your tongue and collide with the s’s and z’s hanging loosely in the air.
and then wonder why you even notice, let alone care about, all of these errant ideas and sensitivities, and then grab your soul and ready your heart for the journey of your life.
I bought a new red bongo today! I am now free to hang out in hip clubs and spew out poetry off the top of my head and (you guessed it!) play my bongo!
Some people came over last night to listen to some music. They were not my friends, but I still expected them to be reasonably cool.
Then some of them stole a laptop and a cell phone from us. Fuckers.
The NDN Summer Employee Workshop is going well. We have opened up our offices and have 13 people working here this week. We have grown from 4 of us to 13 so quickly. We’re struggling with the whole management thing. We’re doing ok, though.
I always want more for us, but I can’t complain about too much these days. I wish I had more time, but that’s my own fool fault.
I’m listening to this song that says, “She’s my addiction.” over and over. Addiction. What an interesting thing.
I’ve been feeling like I’m missing something lately. I’ve been pondering what that something might be. There are a lot of things that people are commonly missing without realizing it. One of those things is love, I guess. Everybody needs love. We are a social species. I am a social person on top of that. Sometimes, anyway.
The thing is that I believe I do get quite a lot of love and attention. For some reason, I can’t get enough though. I want so much.
I do a lot of things for other people, too. At least I seem to think I do. I guess maybe I might just say that hoping people will give me that attention I’m looking for.
But this isn’t really a new topic for me, either. I’ve been talking about this for awhile. I think I’m actually making some progress with this. I haven’t really dwelled on myself so long for awhile. It’s easy for me to forget about myself all day long. Then the night comes and I find myself thinking about all the things I’ve done all day and wondering why I don’t feel fulfilled.
I’m starting to think that maybe I might also be missing some real concept of spirituality in my life. I have been gradually becoming as spiritual as I know how to be… I guess maybe there might be more possible, but I don’t really know what it might be. Maybe I really should be looking for someone else to lead me in that direction. Maybe.
An explosion is caused by the collision of two minds, each bent on triumph. A roar and an aaarrrgh, and the clash of cold steel.
This warrior stands alone, and no crowd is there to watch. The rich smell of blood hangs heavy in the damp air, and the only sound is the sizzle of ancient electric lines, conduits of power long misunderstood.
a truffle
a shuffle
a moan and a gruff word
a slap
a giggle
an ooh and an ahah ahhh.
a worm
a wiggle
a 9-month waiting list
a peep
a cry
a worthwhile pain