Author: admin

Saturday:

Post author By admin
Post date April 3, 1999

have you ever heard of “beating some sense into someone”? Sometimes I want to do that. I don’t know if I could actually bring myself to beat someone else, but boy, sometimes I wonder.

Some people seem to have been asleep in kindergarten when they were teaching us how to share and be nice to each other. Some people seem to have managed to get through kindergarten without learning those valuable lessons.

Do I have a specific example in mind here? Not really. Maybe… I dunno. I don’t think so.

I just want things to be simpler. People are so afraid of getting hurt they build up these fortresses of constructs and defense mechanisms. So now, in our culture, there are a bunch of fortresses walking around, never getting too close to each other for fear of accidentally bumping heads.

Saturday:

Post author By admin
Post date April 3, 1999

Life rotates around our desires and motivations. Life is a series of events resulting from our actions, which are based on those things.

And it is the responsibility of each one of us to figure out what it is that we want. Those desires are the key that unlocks the bounties of beauty life can deliver.

Once you know what you want, you will be happy forever because everyone has the potential to do anything. You have the capacity to take what you want. Others have the capacity to give you what you want, if you let them.

Remember, wants and needs are inherently different animals. I want lots of things that I don’t need. I want the whole world. I don’t need that.

really old

Wednesday:

Post author By admin
Post date March 31, 1999

I have been dreaming about failures lately. Mostly love-life failures. Some of the dreams seem to be based on real life, but some of them seem to just be there to try to discourage me or something… or maybe my dream self understands me enough to know that thinking about failing in some area of my life will possibly motivate me to actively think about that end of things and try to improve.

So, maybe it’s a sign that I should be out lookin’ for some lovin’

Wednesday:

Post author By admin
Post date March 31, 1999

It seems to me that people I know really want the other people they meet to fit into some sort of mold and be everything possible from that mold. This is most evident in love-interest relationships. It’s not so prevalent in normal friend-friend relationships. It does come up there, too, though.

I’m proposing this thought as a possible cause for some common behavior I have noticed. People are especially upset when a friend does something wrong… but even more than just wrong things…. people get upset when their friends do something they would not have expected them to do. When you start to depend on other people for things like love, trust, emotional stability, etc, you start to build a solid image of those people in your head. You base some of your reasoning on those personal images so when those images are shifted by additional real-world input, it takes some time for people to recheck and verify all of their logical constructs. During that verification process, you have had your rug pulled out from under you (so to speak), and are just floating. That tends to make life difficult, hectic and a bit paranoid.

really old

Sunday:

Post author By admin
Post date March 28, 1999

The Ego Issue.

Is it good for each person to have an ego?

Does that only lead to competition and eventually violence?

Or can multiple egos coexist peacefully?

Most people would like to think so, and I would like to as well.

But I don’t really know.

Sunday:

Post author By admin
Post date March 28, 1999

I cannot go on without the knowledge that other people are seeing what I am doing.

I am unable to exist without some eyes watching me. I am attention-hungry… but I still slink to the back of a room in public situations. I still stay out of conversations and try to not be noticed anymore than my unusual appearance warrants.

I need to know that I am not quite a part of the group, but that the group still knows I am there.

(I think I need to change the name of these postings.)

really old

Saturday:

Post author By admin
Post date March 27, 1999

I saw Mod Squad last night. Very solid entertainment. Great movie. Not high-art, but who doesn’t get sick of art sometimes?

Saturday:

Post author By admin
Post date March 27, 1999

Bombs do not solve problems.

The older I get, the more I am hurt by military action. I can’t understand the mentality. I try, and I see some sort of basis for the rationale, but it’s just an endless cycle. If people really wanted peace, they would just be peaceful.

Maybe it’s not that simple… but maybe it is.

really old

Monday:

Post author By admin
Post date March 22, 1999

Some parts of the world are so complicated still. I was shopping for insurance today… commercial liability insurance. It takes so much time to look through the phone book and call people up and give them the information they need… and then they have to look for good rates and get a quote together and then you have to look at the quotes.

I wish more stuff was online. Interacting with people is so inefficient!

Monday:

Post author By admin
Post date March 22, 1999

Today was a productive today, but still sort of frustrating because the things I got done were not things I am excited about doing.

I called some insurance companies. I talked to a realtor. I did this and that.

Fun for a day.