Wha-hoo! I’m glad I got that out of my system. I’m happy with the world again today.
Yesterday sucked, but that’s ok. Today is today, and that’s all that matters to me now
(picture me running, mostly naked, through a large grassy field with some dandelions
poking up here and there… I’m singing my loony head off, and you can’t help but
smile… as your lips part and your day cheers up, the scene pans out and you
can see that the field I am running through is actually a big grassy hill that happens
to be positioned on the top of a huge mountain that I have apparently just spent my
whole life climbing…) (woah, that’s a long parentheses bit) (woah, this is my third
parentheses bit in a row…)! Ok, I have rediscovered my deep love for Coca-Cola today.
I’ve been drinking it like there’s no tomorrow… my roommate’s gonna kill me when he
comes home and finds out I’ve been drinking all his soft drinks today!
Categories
Sunday/Monday:
Beating. Beating. Beating. I haven’t really had much to complain about lately,
and it’s shown. I’ve been mostly just whining about mostly insignificant stuff
and making you all suffer through it. Oh, poor you! Whine, whine. Anyway.
Yesterday, I was the victim of some strange African disease or something. It landed
on me after I spent all Friday night rocking and rolling to some freaky-funky
hard-ass jungle vibez with some kids from my local preschool (those little guys and gals
can really party!). I was a bit more tired on Saturday than I normally am and I
ended up not going anywhere at all. I feel a little bad about that because I turned down
some offers to do some fun stuff, but things just didn’t happen. You know
how that is, right? Well, anyway, I ended up sleeping most of the day and
then going to bed early, too.. it was crazy! And then yesterday and I woke up at noon
or something, and I felt like sheeyot (that’s ghettospeak for poop). My head
was all achey, and I couldn’t really pay attention or eat that much, and I kept having
sort of hot flashes… I was hot, but the fan made me cold… I ended up huddling under
the covers with the fans blowing on me to try to maintain some sort of equilibrium…
Anyway, I’ve felt worse, but yesterday sucked.
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Fan Appreciation Day:
This is a real email I received from a real fan! … yay!
idallis.com: my friend pointed me to this, she said it was quite the
pointless crock of horse shit. she was correct. Its good to see that at
lease one person has a surplus of free time on their hands. please sign
me up on your fan list, so I can receive my daily feed of more mindless
anecdotes. Have a jolly-good day chap.
Try the Daily Beating for the continuation…
Categories
Saturday:
Fan Appreciation Day:
This is a real email I received from a real fan! … (continued from the
Daily Blessing). I responded asking he if
was trying to be funny or insulting… and this is his response to that.
Trying, and succeeding, I might add, at being insulting. Perhaps its not the
case, but it looks like someone’s daddy bought him a domain name, a
digi-cam, and micro$oft frontpage. I bet you print all of those cheezy
little pictures of yourself and tape them all over your room. I asked a
friend of mine, just for fun and giggles, what she thought of your
delightful little ‘site’ and you’ll be pleased to know, its not just me that
thinks you’re a conceited twit. well, its been a pleasure talking to you
again… Take two of these reality pills, and call me in the morning.
The word is out, and the reviews are in: People are talking about
idallas.com:
-
“yeah this guy needs either a good woman or a good slap”
“yeah this guy has too much time and too much money”
well… have a happy night, my friend… try not to snap too many pictures
of yourself on the way to bed.
toodles!
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I was thinking about the human race, and I was thinking about animal species as a whole
and I was thinking about evolution as I understand it, and I was thinking about how
downright stupid humans seem sometimes. But then, I was thinking about how if any
person or thing makes the same mistake twice, then they pretty much deserve whatever’s
coming to them. So… if the human race does make the same mistake twice, then we’re
doomed for sure. I don’t think we have repeated any mistakes, though.
That’s why whenever something is described as the this-or-that of the 90’s, then
I think it’s a bunch of hog wash. A good example would be like calling ecstasy the
cocaine of the 90’s … A lot of people think that there was a lot of cocaine use
in the 70’s and 80’s and there probably was. There is also probably a lot of cocaine
use now, too. Some people probably think that Cocaine is one of those things
that will lead to the utter damnation of the human race, and it may be. That’s all
good, but calling something else the Cocaine of the 90’s is a bunch of crap. Call it
whatever you want, but come up with some new way to describe it. Loser.
Categories
Friday:
I’ve noticed that there hasn’t been much difference between my blessings and my
beatings lately. That’s sort of weird. I usually start either one with the idea
that I am actually going to stick to the topic category at hand, but then somewhere
during my meandering thoughts something weird happens and everything just goes to poop.
I hope you don’t mind. I’m still irritated by some Australian nincompoop (is that
how you spell that?) who sent me a weird email. Man. You don’t want my life.
And that’s good, because I don’t want yours, either.
We checked out a new spot for a party happening tomorrow night. It’s an industrial space.
Oh my, I want to get my own industrial space. There was so much room! I want
to get a big open room, with some smaller partitioned off rooms for personal stuff, and
I want to have a big jungle gym in the middle of it! I want to be able to climb around
on the junge gym whenever I want… Oh my. I’m so looking forward to that.
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and devote! (hit return)…
I fear that I have been a little down lately. I’m not sure why I would be, though.
I have nothing much to be down about. I guess I have nothing much to be much of
anything about, though. I suppose that’s enough to get you down all by itself. I
am not unhappy. I have a lot of freedom to do pretty much whatever I want to do. I
write more email every day than most people get in a week. You don’t want to know
how much I get. (hint: Sage gets more. )
Anyway, though, this isn’t about me. Or, rather it isn’t about my email.
This is about things that are vitally more important to the sanitation of the country.
Or, rather the sanity of the country. Have I gone off the deep end?
Aiieeee…. try the new Special Sauce.
Categories
Thursday:
This is a happy day. It’s happy because I have decided it is. I got a creepy email
from some guy, though. I’m not sure how to feel about it. It made me feel all funny,
like I had been abused. I guess the attention is ok, though… wait, this is a happy day.
Join the new mailing list to find out more about that. Happy.
Happy.
I’m not sure how I feel about people who spit outside. Why can’t they just swallow
their spit like everybody else? It’s people like that who force those generous,
caring law-makers to make evil, restrictive laws. Don’t those people know they’re
ruining things for everyone? What a bunch of happy crackers.
If this was hard to digest, try mixing it with the new
Special Sauce.
I have been thinking about some really wonderful people that have been in my life.
I wish that everyone that was wonderful could stay in my life forever, but things just
don’t work that way. I guess I can always take some comfort in the fact that those
wonderful people once thought enough of me to be close to me for some length of time.
I have this problem where I assume that the feelings I have for one person are pretty
much exactly reciprocated. That works well for my confidence and my ego, but things
just don’t work that way, either. Each person is in such a different place from
every other person. We are all so isolated and alone inside our own heads and our own
imaginations. We can only hope to scratch the very surface of the very tip of that
iceberg some people call the human pysche. We can try to write things down and
spit things out and we can do that until we are red and blue in the face and still
we won’t be able to really understand what it is that makes us feel the need
to say “I Love You.”
Categories
Wednesday:
Aargh. I wish sometimes that feeling had a more intense word associated with it.
It’s that feeling that makes you want to grit your teeth and turn your hands into
claws and look up into the sky and open your eyes wide and silently scream with
all your might. It’s that feeling that no matter what you do and no matter how
long and hard you try, you will not be able to change what has happened or
what will happen. It’s that feeling you get when something you have
spent your whole life creating is going to be killed in the name of progress or
worse, profit. It’s that feeling that I feel when I try to figure out how to heal
the woes of the world without killing myself along the way. What good can I do if I’m
dead? What good can I do if I’m alive? I may as well just quit now. Aargh.