iDallas!Elements have been exploding around me while others have been coming together to form wonderful new molecules and mixtures that I hadn’t thought of before. I suppose this is an ongoing process, but it is still wonderous to watch and learn from.
I get real unsociable when I don’t eat for too long. I wonder if I have unstable blood sugar levels or something. As long as I eat regularly, I’m ok, but if I skip a meal for longer than 3 or 4 hours, I start to get really grumpy.
I’m heading to Connecticut with Jason for a wedding. I have a lot of weddings to go to this year! I think maybe the times they are a changing and all that.
Two open hearts
beating side by side.
A gentle surgeon watches with delight.
ba-dump ba-dump.
Two as one.
The emotional girl got upset when I was beating her at Tetris the other day. I felt bad. I was just playing well that day. No biggie.
It’s ok now.
On my way home from the studio tonight, I started thinking about all the cars I was passing and the differences between the lives of the people in the cars passing and the cars being passed.
I don’t drive an especially fast car, but the years of living in Los Angeles have had an impact on my driving. I like to be going 80 mph whenever possible. And whenever I’m behind someone who is not going as fast as traffic will allow, I start cursing them in my head and wondering why in the hell they aren’t in a hurry.
Sometimes I like to humor myself and think I’m just driving more quickly so I can spend more time wherever it is I’m going. But I’ve realized that I also sometimes try to do non-car-related things quickly, too. I like to feel like I’m accomplishing lots of things every day and week.
I think maybe I feel like I won’t have time to do all the things I want to do if I don’t accomplish lots of things all the time…
But I started thinking in the car tonight that maybe I’m just rushing through life and not really living it as fully as I could be. I’m starting to worry that I might end up fifty and realize I haven’t really lived. Just accomplishing things and not living pretty much just makes you a robot.
I don’t think I’m really quite that bad, but it is something to think about when you’re driving down a familiar road as quickly as you can.
I wrote a new bit of music today.
I hope you like it:
I’m most happy when I’m productive, or actually when I feel productive.
That goes along with the fact that feeling productive probably does make me more productive, so it’s this great circular thing. Sometimes, if I have a good week, I can ride the residual waves for several week after that. And likewise, a bad week can get me down for quite awhile. It’s hard to bounce back.
A big part of feeling productive for me is setting reasonable goals for myself and others. I have a bad habit of setting very high goals and then getting increasingly agitated when it appears those goals might not be met. Does that make me a workaholic?
It does seem some days like the work never ends. And I suppose it doesn’t. It shouldn’t really. Once it feels like you don’t have anything to do, you’re probably wasting time. How you spend your time is your own choice, but you should at least choose something rather than just falling into whatever it is that comes along.
And on that note, I’m thinking about getting cable. There’s just not enough on television to make the TV I have worthwhile and buying lots of DVD’s as I have been doing is a drain on the finances!
If you have any thoughts on cable television, good or bad, let me know.
Adopt a pattern of selfless delight and stick with it for as long as you can. If you are strong enough to do it for long enough, you’ll start to see other people around you doing it, too. They might not even realize it, but they’ll still be contributing energy to your cause and it will become easier over time to maintain your delightful stance.