Monday:

I am struggling with my own advice.
Should I follow it?
Or can I safely ignore it and then trust myself in the future?

The problem I have is that I can’t quite figure out how to
assess a situation I am involved in accurately.

I am pretty good at looking at other people and things and making clever observations, but I just can’t seem to do that for myself.

And should I be able to? I try to be objective and look at myself and my life as just another idea for pondering, but it just doesn’t work that way.

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really old

Monday:

I did a new Special Sauce the other day. I forgot to mention it earlier.

Go check it out. It’s some sort of an excuse/apology for the flippant content I’ve been putting out lately. I’ve had a lot on my mind, I think.

I suppose I always have a lot on my mind, but lately, I’ve been struggling with some new territory. I’m starting to really put some thought into figuring out how to build a workable large-scale community situation that can interact with the world as a whole, but still internally can function outside of the normally accepted boundaries.

I believe it is possible, and I am not the only person thinking about this sort of thing. Now, I must just figure out how I might caress a group of people into agreeing with me.

And I must make some music while I’m at it!

Thursday:

I went to Siggraph today and looked at lots of neato computer video editing, computer graphics, and just general nifty cool things. I saw a new BeOS demo and some neato new software coming out for Be… including the unreleased Bryce 4! Woo!

It was sorta fun… and I got away from the office for a bit. The office is pretty busy sometimes. I need to get motivated and do something now that I’ve taken a break, though!

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really old

Thursday:

I fiddled with a dumb emagic sound card for many hours yesterday and today and eventually decided that something is goofy with it… I don’t know if it’s broken or if it just sucks, but it’s really noisy. I’m glad I figured it out, but I wish it hadn’t taken me 10 or so hours of tinkering to arrive at that conclusion.

I could have been making music all that time!
And now I’m going to take it back and spend more money to get the thing I should have gotten in the first place! Argh.

Saturday:

I’m not sure what I want to do most of the time. I get excited by the possibility of spending more money to get myself cooler and cooler toys, but then I get tired out when I try to really use them. I guess other people might pick up the ball and play with them for me, but I’m not sure that sort of logic will ever lead to contentment.

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really old

Saturday:

Things are going well at the compound, lately.
The major conflicts are starting to get ironed out, and a smooth productive organizational structure is falling into place.

I can feel the summer coming to a close… the hectic pace is starting to ease up… I’ll be glad to roll into the fall with a solid production schedule. It sounds corporate, but it really does take a lot of worry off of your mind and let you relax and do something fun for awhile… worrying about what everyone is doing or isn’t doing or should be doing or whatever is just not fun. blah.

We have a washer and dryer with hot water. That’s really nice. The kitchen has been organized better and we’re starting to really cooperate with the different duties in the building.

The biggest problem now is that I never leave…

Tuesday:

catastrophe
silly me
I thought maybe I had a clue.

retrofit
discipline
who cares, anyway?

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really old

Tuesday:


Friday:

I almost always act sorta funny on my birthdays. I don’t want people to make a fuss over me. I want attention for who I am, rather than for what day I was born on.

Or something. I dunno.

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really old

Friday:

Today is my birthday!

yay for me!