iDallas!It’s sort of weird how people end up being so spread out as they grow up. When you’re little, you just make friends with whoever’s nearby, but when you get old, you try to hold onto friends as long as you can… regardless of how difficult it is. It’s a nice effort, but… if we all want to spend so much time together, why do we spend so much time trying to figure out where we want to be? We should just want to be wherever our loved ones are. That’s really where heaven on earth is, anyway.
da da da da
dancing through
the air is shining
and my brain is dissolving
between my eyes
I can taste it
if I try hard enough.
but I don’t like to try.
I saw a car driving in front of me the other day with a sticker on the back that said “Peace.” It was nice… I liked it. But then I noticed that the same car also had a Nike swoosh sticker up towards the top of the rear window.
Weird.
I like the swoosh as much as the next guy, but why would you want to put it on your car? And how could the same person put both of the stickers on the same car at the same time, and mean it?
I feel something starting to come together. It feels like things might start to really move pretty soon. I still get the feeling that many of the people around me might not really understand what it’s like to be moving, but I think they’ll catch on pretty quick and find the experience exhilirating.
I’m ready for that. I just hope we, as a group, are, too. I hope we can set aside our simple, personal differences long enough to stand arm in arm and shout our praises to the big sky above loud enough so that something greater than any of us individually or all of us combined might hear the peep, and them maybe, quite possibly, take a moment to bat an eye.
Spirited
powerful
delicate
sensuous
and beautiful
like a horse,
I guess.
Complex. And separated.
Intricate and dynamic.
It’s a stuggle.
And I deal with it every day.
I don’t know what to say to who and what to feel about who and who cares about what and why… and I don’t know whose feelings to worry about hurting and whose to not give a fuck about.
I want to fuck a lot of people I don’t know… and for some reason not that many I do know. And I think it might be some sort of weird association with this concept of S-E-X as some sort of great reward or some show of power or something fundamentally fucked up like that.
Well. There are shifting issues going on around me, and I try to not get involved, and that just gets me in more trouble, and now I’m starting to see a possible new very big situation develop and I’m starting to really think about it a lot and hang a lot of emotions on it, and I really hope it doesn’t turn out to just be another big issue.
Another big issue.
Delicate drizzlings
a hot affair, indeed
a miscued memory
or an anxious obsession
tick-tocking tapestries
and overbearing wall patterns
ridiculous details
or an over-powered mind
longing, oh so wanting
for a smell half as sweet
to find its way to rest near me
and madden my nova desires
I guess I do actually start to wonder if maybe all of this isn’t taking me anywhere… I wonder if maybe I’m really just spinning in the same circles as ever, but maybe now I’m just analyzing the holy fuck out of it. I guess maybe that might still be better, though. Maybe. Yeah. Who knows?
And I want to know what’s going on, but I just don’t have the same fight in me that I used to. Maybe I should start trying to get into trouble out on the town.
I am beating my head against this post that I have put in the ground so I would have something to lean on. It’s the truth, haha, that I base my philosophy, even more hahaha, on. The truth that’s somewhere deep inside of me.
That said. Love. Fuck that shit. Technology’s where it’s at.
Right?
No matter how much money I spend on toys, nothing can make me feel like the moment an amazing beautiful young thing catches me trying to catch her eye. Nothing.
That’s not to say that feeling is the only thing worth striving for… hardly, ahaha. No, but its just an illustration of sorts that maybe people really do grow up and maybe there really is more to life than the mechanics of the world going on around us. Maybe, just maybe, we can have a chance to think and feel alike once in awhile, and maybe, just maybe, that’s really all that matters.
As if anything really matters. ahaha.
From a friend…
