iDallas!
I think sometimes maybe I might still be trying to do too much at once. All at once, I might actually be doing nothing. Nothing at all. At all.
Or maybe I might just be helping to start a million new threads of imaginative possibility. That seems somehow a little too hopeful to be true. Sad old me.
I guess I always figure I’ll have some interesting stories to tell when all is said and done. Let’s just hope I have enough time to actually get them all out. OUt.
What does it mean when a girl is standing across the room and you catch her looking at you, and then perhaps a little while later you find her standing near you, but not looking?
Is she waiting for you to talk to her?
If so, what’s she want you to say to her? If not, what’s in the heck is going on?
My cat’s been sort of nicer to me lately. I think she’s warming up a bit. She’s grown up in this crazy big place with lots of other cats around. It’s hard for a small, young cat to really get comfortable here. That’s too bad, you know?
I’ve decided I’m going to start reading more regularly again. I think it’s a good time in my life. I have tons of free time and all that.
la la la de da
waiting for the water to fall.
la da la de doo
I wonder just what it’s going to do.
I am just getting over a rather vicious cold. I’m happy about that.
I also have revived my old Mac yet again. I think it’s going to stay with me for awhile this time.
I’m using the new Preview Release 3 of Netscape 6 to write this. It actually seems to work ok. Cross your fingers!
I am going to finally get license plates for my car I bought a year ago tomorrow. Whee!
Life is moving along. That it is.
I started a new track tonight.
If you haven’t heard my latest project, feel free to check it out and let me know what you think…
I also went grocery shopping today. Finally! That makes me feel so good for some reason. I really should do it more often.
Ok, and for reading all that, a quick poem.
Lots of love, I tell you now.
I have some left, still somehow.
I pour it out, left and right,
in between and around those fist-fights.
I am lover, it’s true indeed,
but I don’t take any shit, either!
Sometimes, it actually pains me to see so many fancy girls while I’m driving through some parts of LA. There’s so many people with plenty here, and so many people with needy elsewhere.
I do realize that these are different worlds, and you have to adopt some somewhat unique living patterns to get along in LA. It’s a strange sort of place. Love it, I do not. Hate it, I do not either. Like it… sometimes.
I just hope the people with the fancy cars around here do think about it once in awhile. Just some thought.
We can hope.
A blessing in disguise. That’s what I need. Maybe that’s why I’m going to have another masquerade ball. I need to get rolling on that.
There’s a pain in my head. It’s not really a physical pain, but just some sort of feeling I can quite feel. It’s keeping me from doing the things I feel I need to do, and that’s just adding to the so-called pain. I can’t sleep because I slept 12 hours last night, but I am too tired to do anything else, really. I have been dreaming about girls lately. Different girls. Girls I used to knew. Girls I would like to know. Girls I have never known and will never know. It all comes back to the same thing, I suppose.
And it’s all about a touch or a kiss. Something that seems so simple when you do it, but that somehow manages to stay with you forever. It’s too bad I can’t appreciate it for how special it is when it’s happening, you know?
Perfect. Nothing is.
Nothing will be. Nothing should be.
Trust, faith, whining memories. Draperies hiding the truth. Sadness welling up in my eyes. Crayons drawing nothing on butcher paper. Chopped up animals hanging on hooks and I can’t care.
Dying willows and barking dogs with nothing to eat.
There is more to this than that. There is more. There must be. I have a feeling about something absurd. Why do my feelings come out so erratically?
I would like to cry right now. It seems that might help. I will not feel this way in the morning. I cannot allow myself to sleep for so long tonight. I won’t. I need to be excited again. It happens, sometimes.
Drain. Drudge. Heavy.
Axe handle.
hear the hum.
Tropical is next weekend. We met people at the last Tropical.
It’s all about the house music vibes. Feel the vibe. Ahahaa…
more words.
more
more.
I have more.
pummel me with your favorites.
I saw the newly re-released The Exorcist last night at the Mann’s Chinese Theater. That’s one seriously intense movie. I had never seen it before. If you haven’t seen it before, you should go. Don’t go by yourself, though.
Sitting and singing softly to myself.
A small, but noisy bird makes it way onto my plate.
BIRD!
Some things are just unforgiveable.
Fortunately, this is not one of those things.
I smack the bird away with my hand, and continue singing.
My plate is still empty, however.
“I was born a little too late to see the dream that they called America.”
Fifteen.
That line put so many thoughts into my head. It’s from the album called “Choice of a New Generation”. Funny. I just rediscovered it after a couple of years of not listening to it, and I am realizing that I really missed it.
I’ve been listening to a lot of pop punk lately, actually. It keeps me energized.
One summer several years ago, I didn’t sleep very much, and I’m not even sure I ate that much, and somehow I managed to totally change my life, with the help of some friends.
I still wear the Fifteen shirt I have. It has paint on it from that summer when we were painting the walls of a place we had called the Minot Collective Cultural Center.
If it wasn’t for that place and those people, I think my life would be entirely different now. They showed me that I could do whatever I wanted however I wanted and I didn’t have to listen to anybody if I didn’t want to.
Of course, it’s still always a good idea to listen to people with good ideas. It really is pretty hard to figure out exactly who those people are, though.
Shifty shy and the shiney sonuvaguns started watching the sunset every evening one day, and they just never went back.