iDallas!sitting and talking and laughing among friends. the world before me like a closed but inviting paperback. No real harm done, but still worth something more than I can understand.
We went to a party thing tonight. It was at a club… I’m so awkward sometimes in social situations. Not too bad, but enough to make other people feel a little awkward. Sort of weird.
lonely again.
I’m so hard to please. I always want something other than what I have.
I think it might be a fear of commitment sort of thing, but I dunno. Maybe I’m just picky… but what if I really do miss the magic moment while I’m all caught up with my self and my silly worries?
olive oil runs through the streets of baton rouge, and it’s a crime because it gets in the way of the water delivery truck, or something more meaningful perhaps.
We must work together to ever hope to explore anything beyond the reaches of mear human endeavor. We are not bound by what we have been taught. We are not bound by what we have seen. We are bound by fear and trust.
Cry. Cry like the wind told you to, and make the wind never forget it. Tell someone else to cry today.
hot tub
swirling water around my ears.
drowzy giggle.
slip back and fall down.
dim dum.
zim zum.
zee.
We watched explosives light up the sky.
We are so goddamned enlightened.
The golden era of the Western Age.
Hah ha.
Despite all the magick things to think about, I can still see it all slip by all these people. They sit still and they laugh and they sip their long island ice teas, and they feel proud of themselves and of their position in life. An american life is composed of a series of snapshots of this and that, Kodak moments. There is no continuity or memory. Everything turns out ok in the end.
We’re so sad.
It’s raining today. It rains so seldom here.
I’m looking forward to whatever that might mean.
It might mean a fresh start for a new morning tomorrow.. perhaps the sky will be a little less brown (boy, was it ugly yesterday!), or perhaps the clouds will be a little bit puffier.
It might also mean a light dew will fall on our heads from the big dark sky while we look up into the face of god… and wait for whatever message might come forth.
To you and yours: Be pleasant to one another. Don’t fight about stupid shit. Don’t care about things that don’t matter. Actually try to figure out for yourself what does matter. If everyone did that… there’d be a whole lot of people thinking that weren’t before.
Rar.
I don’t seem to have as much to be angry about as I used to. I guess I get angry about little internal office politics sort of things. I get angry about people being lazy and unmotivated and trying to push work onto other people. That’s lame. But I don’t really get upset about world events (since those get really depressing really fast and I just ignore them whenever I can). I have a pretty good life. I think maybe I need to start churning up more of that anger again. I’m getting soft. Soft in the head and soft in the belly.
The actors on the scene are not the only players around. They are the ones that decide who takes which roles, but they are not the ones who decide who is offered which roles. The producers are involved as well. They decide what combination of actors will be entertaining to the public this time around.
a fork in my arm
a little painful,
but not really a problem.
sorta like my time with you.