Category: really old

We had a nice internet broadcast session last night! 3 hours of mad DJ action. It went pretty well. We’ve got some of it recorded, so we can put it up for listening. That’ll be nice. I’ll get to that eventually.

We’re gearing up to do some more. I’d like to get a full-on weekly show going. I hope I have the time to make it something cool. I’m expecting that other people around will be up for helping out with it.

The show we did last night was for somebody else… we’ll probably continue to do that one monthly even if we don’t manage to launch one of our own.

rattling in my head
am I dead?

rotating reasons in my mind
what did I find?

angry enemy terrorizing me
do I care?

Why can’t I just be happy?
Why do I always get hung up on all of the little things that just aren’t perfect? Will I just be chasing those magical mystical rainbows my whole life? Every step I take leads me to want something different. Another color. Something more this or more that. Not even more perfect… just more something else.

It’d almost be somehow easier to manage if it were perfection I’m looking for… at least then I could just mark it up to me being silly and move on with my life… but as it is, it just feels like maybe there really is something else out there drawing me ever onward.

I want everyone to do their thing.
And I want everyone to have everything they need.
And I want to give whatever I can to help…

But some people just don’t respect what they have available to them. Some people just think everything’s going to go well no matter what we do. That might be true, but assuming so seems a little risky to me.

I did a new Special Sauce the other day. I forgot to mention it earlier.

Go check it out. It’s some sort of an excuse/apology for the flippant content I’ve been putting out lately. I’ve had a lot on my mind, I think.

I suppose I always have a lot on my mind, but lately, I’ve been struggling with some new territory. I’m starting to really put some thought into figuring out how to build a workable large-scale community situation that can interact with the world as a whole, but still internally can function outside of the normally accepted boundaries.

I believe it is possible, and I am not the only person thinking about this sort of thing. Now, I must just figure out how I might caress a group of people into agreeing with me.

And I must make some music while I’m at it!

I fiddled with a dumb emagic sound card for many hours yesterday and today and eventually decided that something is goofy with it… I don’t know if it’s broken or if it just sucks, but it’s really noisy. I’m glad I figured it out, but I wish it hadn’t taken me 10 or so hours of tinkering to arrive at that conclusion.

I could have been making music all that time!
And now I’m going to take it back and spend more money to get the thing I should have gotten in the first place! Argh.

Things are going well at the compound, lately.
The major conflicts are starting to get ironed out, and a smooth productive organizational structure is falling into place.

I can feel the summer coming to a close… the hectic pace is starting to ease up… I’ll be glad to roll into the fall with a solid production schedule. It sounds corporate, but it really does take a lot of worry off of your mind and let you relax and do something fun for awhile… worrying about what everyone is doing or isn’t doing or should be doing or whatever is just not fun. blah.

We have a washer and dryer with hot water. That’s really nice. The kitchen has been organized better and we’re starting to really cooperate with the different duties in the building.

The biggest problem now is that I never leave…

Today is my birthday!

yay for me!

Touch me.
Touch my heart.
Feel my blood pumping through my veins.
Touch my blood-filled membranes.

Taste my sweet, sweet desire,
Welling up in the back of my throat.

You can know me.
Know my heart. Know my scent.
Know my life.
Touch me, taste me. Me.