Category: really old

A certain lover-baby is back for the attack safe in the house from the land of the big
bird. That’s all cool and all. Another certain wanna-lover-baby doesn’t seem to be
thinking of her big-bad-idallio enough for my liking. That could be better. The
moon and the stars are still shining bright, though us kids in LA can’t see it much
through the haze of that last bongo going bong in the night. And through it all,
all we can find the nerve to say is “cool”

At least that’s better than rad or wicked.

At least.

And then there’s awesome.

Awesome will return. And I’ll be ready for it.

Ok. So I skipped a whole day altogether. This is getting to be a bad habit.
To make up for it, I’m going to write two whole new special
sauce entries to make up for it. Is that ok?

So. While I was in the shower today, I checked my Noxzema bottle, and wouldn’t you know
it… Proctor & Gamble! Those fuckers make everything. I’m going to have to
start being a lot more dilligent about making sure I’m not supporting any fascist
regimes anymore. On top of that, I still don’t have service for my new cell phone!
It’s been like 3 days and they keep not calling me to set it up. Things are not
going my way at all.

Did something wonderful happen today? Not really. I bought a whole box of
individual packs of cornnuts. That’s a pretty good thing overall. It’s not really
worth mentioning, though. I got some work done today, though. I’ve been finding it
difficult to do that lately. I’ve been distracted or something… Ok.
Back at it.

I’m getting frustrated. I have a lot of random computer equipment all around
my house and some of it can talk to some of it, but I can’t get the right pieces
to talk to each other. Oh well. You probably have to be here. It’s making me not
funny. You’ll have to look elsewhere for your daily giggle today.

Wiley Willy saw a cloud floating through the sky. He wanted to touch it. How can you
touch a cloud? he thought. They are so high! He still wanted to touch it.
He looked around for things that he could climb on. He saw a milk crate. Not tall enough.
He saw a garbage can. Not tall enough either. He looked around at the buildings around
him. What if he climbed one of those buildings? So he did! He climbed up on top
of his house and stood on the roof and stretched up as far as he could and tried
to touch the clouds. He wasn’t anywhere near where he needed to be. He would have
to go into the city to climb one of the tall buildings. So he went into the city. He
looked up at all of the very tall buildings and tried to figure out which one was the
tallest. They are all so tall! he thought. He picked one of them and went in
the front door. The security guard at the front desk was distracted by another man who
he was talking to so Willy was able to get into the elevator and ride it to the top.
When the elevator stopped, he got out and started to walk around. There are no
windows up here! he thought. What to do? He decided to try some of the doors.
Some of these rooms must have windows! He tried a door that said CEO and it opened.
He went in and found himself looking at a middle-aged man who most certainly had his
head in the clouds. You could tell by the ridiculous look on his face. Willy went
up to him and asked if he could touch the clouds around his head. He looked at
Willy with a flat expression on his face (he had been practicing that flat expression
for years) and said, “Sure. You can touch the clouds around my head.” And so Willy
did, and he was happy.

Rage and vinegar and piss and sordid details of my sex life and racing through
my brain. I think it’s because I’m tired… writing these entries during the middle
of the day is different… I think maybe part of the edge is me being tired
all the time when I’m doing it. It’s that final spark of energy right before my lights
go out for another day. It’s the culmination of everything I wanted to accomplish
each day and didn’t. I’m pitiful. But, I am indeed a late-blooming progidy.
In fact, I’m still in development. One day, the world will be amazed that
someone my age is still so immature and trite. I’ll show them.

Back from Sunny Seattle! Rock music still reigns up there, I think. In a good way.
I’m in some sort of strange readjustment phase now. My room felt strange when I first
walked in… It didn’t fit like a glove anymore… 3 weeks away is enough for that to
happen. I spent today doing a little decorating, adding some more cardboard shelves,
throwing away some unnecessary clutter. That was nice. The room is happy with me now.

I hope my chances of making it back into my home territory without much trouble are good. The
airport authorities will undoubtedly be looking out for me. A mind like mine does not pass through
without attention. I’ll have to try to shield myself from their inquisitive inspections. I’ll
surely wear my aluminum underwear. I’ll also attempt to make myself resemble some sort of spiritual
follower. I’ll shave my hair all over except for a small snippet out of the back which I will braid
and grow down to my butt. Maybe that will be too much. Maybe I’ll just wear my beret and draw
on a french moustache. That ought to fool them.

Wednesday:

I’m off onto a new leg of my journey through life today. I’m a little excited and a little
anxious and nervous. I’m heading back to the Wild World of Los Angeles to begin my new life
as a self-employed powerful executive. The fates of thousands of people will be my responsibility.
I don’t know if I am up to the task, but I will do my best. My next update will be done from
my office back at home. I’ll be saying Au Revoir to this iMac that has been my friend for the last
three weeks. Au Revoir, iMac.

Halloween Costume Ideas (bad ones):

• bearskin rug
• remote control
• dandruff
• dandelion
• Sea Monkey
• Crack Addict
• Porn Addict
• Susan B. Anthony
• Bill Clinton
• a wall hanging of any kind
• a snake of any kind
• Any crew member from Star Trek
• Marilyn Manson
• An open butt surgery patient
• Any sort of legal document
• Any sort of museum exhibit
• Any sort of board game.
• Any sort of packaged Candy.
• Any sort of hallucinogenic substance.
• Anything remotely related to activism (that’s a quick way to kill any party!)
• An electronic music group.