Category: really old

Tension.
I’m walking across the thin plastic roof of a small cardboard shack. It’s creaking, but seems to be holding me up. Very carefully, I take a deep breath and lift one leg in front of me with the knee bent. Then, I start to bend my other knee and creep down about a foot. Then, I wait.

tricky overwhelms the beauty of the day. So cynical.

It does sometimes seem like things are never going to be perfect. and of course they aren’t, I suppose. We are together learning something great. I must believe that. It keeps me going on.

And I need to keep going on, so I can help keep everyone else going on as well. Together, we will be able to go somewhere, whatever that means.
Only together.

And even miniver is part of ‘us’ now.
Ahaha.

Last night I went out to our usual Monday night hangout with some of the usual Monday night crew. I ended up staying up too late working on music as a result. I have been getting up pretty late this week. I’m not sure why that is. It might just be the holiday slowdown coming on. That’s somewhat acceptable.

I need to finish this track I have going on. I think people might like to hear it. I think I might like to hear it, too. All in one. Hearing bits of it over and over is nice and all, but I could have more fun for sure. The problem is that I’m never super duper happy with the finished tracks… I always see what it could have been rather than what it is. The difference between those two things is shrinking, though. That’s nice.

I’m somewhat hopeful lately.
Haha. optimism.

No matter who wins this election, nobody’s going to be able to take the results seriously. The fact that this whole thing has been dragged out to such a degree is an indication of how whiny Americans really can be. Whatever, though. That’s a perogative you have in a free country like ours. Ahaha.

Sometimes, it seems like things really never do go the way I expect. I guess probably I am unable to predict the future. Sometimes, though, it seems like even more than that. It almost seems like things actually turn out different than I expect all the time. It’s almost like I am an anti-psychic.

I suppose, though, that by ‘things’, I really do mean only the things I really want to turn out a certain way. I guess maybe I need to try harder to make those things turn out that way, though. Maybe I just spend too much time just expecting my luck to help me out.

Or maybe my luck really is helping me out in ways I may even realize.

Today is turning into tonight, and the evening’s plans have not yet started. Hmm hmm.

the end of the world has started.
I guess. That’s the general feeling I’ve been getting from people anyhow. George W. Bush as president is going to send our country spiraling onto some sort of chaotic path to hell or something. That sounds like it might be fun.

We need something to shake us all up a little bit. I mean, seriously… only half of the eligible voters in this country vote. Half. That’s like none almost. George W. Bush really only got like 1/4 of the people in the country to vote for him. And now he’s president!

Well, whatever. Politics. Boring.

There’s a string of hope, trailing from the top of the highest peak to the top of the highest man-made monument. It connects the almighty power of creation with the almighty everythingness of human invention.

The thought of maybe falling in love does excite my mind quite a bit. It’s one of those things that keeps me poised at my keyboard for moments upon moments, waiting for letters to start coming out, and then slowly, hesitatingly, they do. And they do. And they don’t spell out anything of much use.

I think I would like to fall in love with somebody willfull enough to make me forget everything and not want to remember. Oh, romantic me. Oh hahaha. Not want to remember. That’s nice.

No, but I really do need someone to make me stop doing the things that I really don’t care about and start doing all the things I do care about. I guess I’d have to really figure out what those things are first, though.

Life is a maze, it seems, but there is no reason to try to win, because there’s nothing of interest at the middle. Mazes can be fun, though. You can meet a lot of interesting people in the middle of them, for sure.

A worm? A worm. C’mon inside and meet the missus. I love that part of labyrinth… with the little worm inviting the big people into his small crack in the wall house for tea.

So, I go la la la ing all the way into tomorrow morning, then.

I want to sing about birds,
and hum about bees,
and think about trees in the clouds.

I want to dream about seashells,
and laugh with you,
and talk about memories that never happened.

ironic derogatives
dreadful degenerates.
smiling without teeth
slithering tongues colliding.
derived esoterics harping on erotic.
the creation of nothingness
is supervised by everybody.
listen in on alien conversations
and struggle to join the perfect opposites.